Here you will find a few words, alongside the works.
Bird Squares
Essential tremor is a condition which causes one’s hands to shake. I have seen it in many older people and not given it a second thought. Until that thing, that I blamed on too much coffee or perhaps needing to eat something, became real to me last October.
It can be treated with medication on the bad days. And caffeine is no longer a friend to me. But the shock, I wrestled with, was that more than likely it will increase with age. And well, these hands are an extension of my creativity.
Internally, I was embarrassed by my self-pity. This is not a terminal illness or anything very debilitating. But it still felt like such a blow. How will I go through my future days without having the steadiness to hold a brush?
My husband, Charles with direct appropriateness stated, “This just means, we make the most of today.”
So, the Bird Squares pulled me out a creative paralysis of sorts. These small quadrants greeted me in the mornings or the late afternoons of my days.
And in the midst of this, a curious and remarkable thing happened. During a confirmation church service, a clerical man, whom I had not met before, paused while I was at the church alter, and said to me, in a voice I will never forget, “Give me your hands. Anoint them with oil…” (along with a few additional words that I believe are mine alone to treasure.)
Y’all, I cried THE ugliest of cries in front of an entire fancy traditional congregation. A Sunday morning emotional spectacle, if you will. How did this robed stranger man know !?!?
I have asked myself for several months, do I talk about this? Or simply keep it to myself? But recently, after reading thought provoking words, which Mary McLeod Bethune wrote, I came to the conclusion that I think I’d like to let you know; amazing and wondrous mysteries of faith still exist, at least to me. And maybe will meet you where you are and usher in perhaps an ounce of comfort.
The bird squares in their series of 12 continued to carry me through much more these past few months. Let’s just say. “It has been a time.” And I am looking forward to “much less of a time” as 2024 begins to wane.
I hope you enjoy the Bird Squares. I plan to post their individual stories on Instagram in the days ahead.
P.S. Several have already left the nest and are in homes they were meant to find. However, a few are still available for purchase.
Weltschmerz
As the pandemic weeks have continued on, I intentionally chose a background in which I could lose myself in, silence the rhetoric and find a quiet space.
The grief I have felt is laced into this one. It is easier to paint than to find the words to describe the paralysis and deep sadness I have felt. Almost, as if stuck on a dilapidated fence observing a destructive political garden party.
Providence
“There is a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ‘tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come - the readiness is all.”
This quotation spoken by Hamlet created a new interest in the play for me. So, I watched an excellent BBC version featuring David Tennant as Hamlet last week in order to fully grasp the weight of these words. The green hardback covered Shakespeare Collection of plays which belonged to my parents was pulled off the shelf so I could read along as I watched.
The endeavor reminded me of listening to those records with story books, with the chime to turn the page. However, the Royal Shakespeare Company Production’s scenes did not follow the scenes directly, so there was much searching and page turning taking place on my part. But I loved it.
In high school I did a research paper on the messages of the birds in Macbeth. Funny, the way these birds appeared in my younger years.
In Hamlet some say through this statement he is nodding to Chapter 10 in the gospel of Matthew. He has moved from, “To Be or Not to Be” into an acceptance that some things are beyond control.
I see parallels in my world. Less than 6 months ago, I lived in a time and land of infinitives. To assume. To expect. To take. To be. To have. To do. To see. To travel. To go.
Barriers have fallen around the infinitives. A strangely constrained place of uncertainty has entered the scene which places us all under the wings of providence.
A few notes on the process behind this painting follow:
This 6” x 6”l painting was painted on aquabord. A monochromatic underpainting was applied. The decision to apply the cast shadow was made using tracing paper.
Color was then added, followed by wax medium. I love the texture found in the wax medium on the final piece. It is difficult to photograph and give this finished little bird justice so I have included a video of the process.
When God is Silent
There is an often overlooked and very quiet Saturday which occurs between Good Friday and Easter. It is where the Silence of God is encountered. To me one of the most purposeful of the Holy Week Days and this year to me the most poignant.
It is where we grieve and we remember that hope is a thing with feathers.
“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul – and sings the tunes without the words – and never stops at all.”